Tag Archives: Patrick Stewart

Decisions, Decisions

I never make conscious decisions. ~ Anthony Hopkins

As you guys know, I recently won a $25 gift card to Amazon by captioning a ridiculously adorable photo over at Momma Be Thy Name. I captioned the hell out of that photo. What can I say? It’s a gift.

I wanted to spend that gift card on something fun, something that I wouldn’t be buying anyway, like diapers or a bra. But I wasn’t sure what to get. Should it be something that would reflect my blogging persona? My blog itself? Should it be something fun, just for sh!ts and giggles? Or maybe just something that I’ve been really wanting, but haven’t been able to justify spending money on?

So I started to poke around on Amazon. You can buy ANYTHING on Amazon. I’m not kidding. I mean, it’s not like eBay, where you can buy people, but when it comes to buying goods, you can get pretty much anything.

Here’s one of the things that I thought of buying. It’s in the category of “things that I want but can’t quite justify buying for myself”. Because seriously, David Tennant AND Patrick Stewart? Doing SHAKESPEARE? Be. Still. My. Heart. No, seriously. It’s like one of my better sex dreams.

Yum.

In the Sh!ts And Giggles category, I have this little guy. Because really, what’s funnier than stopping your wine bottle with someone’s penis? Not much.

LOL. No, really. I laughed out loud.

As for something that would reflect my blogging persona (and would coincidentally be a fantabulous conversation piece), there was this little bit of home decor, which would grace my bathroom door:

It’s a nautical poop joke! WIN.

In the end, though, I made a decision that is very typically me, blogging persona or no. I bought books. Because I’m a Hermione Granger, that’s why, and books give me even more joy than bottle stoppers that are shaped like giant schlongs.

If I have to choose a category, I’d say that these fall into the “things that I want but can’t quite justify buying for myself” realm. I’m probably the last female humor blogger to buy these books, but there you go.

So there you have it. I captioned one photo and got two whole books out of it. Pretty nifty, huh? Now I have to go win some more, so that I can buy all the other stuff. Until my books come, though, I can always alternate watching Doctor Who and Star Trek: The Next Generation. Yum.

All photos are from Amazon.com product descriptions. Click the photos to see the products.

My First Award! TWICE!

I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either. ~ Jack Benny

Look! I got an award!

Wowza! I was nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award a couple of weeks ago by one of my most favoritest (it IS TOO a word) bloggers EVER — Fathead Follies. I had this post 95% written when yet another of my most favoritest bloggers — Robin from dirtyrottenparenting — nominated me for the same award! I AM A GODDESS AMONG VERSATILE BLOGGERS!

It’s only a little awkward because I was going to give the award to dirtyrottenparenting, but I guess I just have to take her off the list, now don’t I?

First, let’s talk about lovely and talented Fathead Follies. She’s hilarious, and I don’t say that lightly. I picked Fathead Follies up on my blog-dar a month or so ago, and I knew I was in love when I read this post. I’ve been a devoted follower ever since (which I admit, isn’t that long, but what? Is she going to stop being funny? I don’t think so.) Thank you, Fathead Follies, for being awesome and for making me happy with your writing. Thank you, too, for mentioning me and passing along this award.

Now, as for dirtyrottenparenting. This blog is real, it’s hysterically funny, and it helps me to remember that parents are still people — we steal our kids’ candy just because we want it, we drink medicinally, and we blame demons for our children’s bad behavior. It’s loads of fun, and I’m so tickled that I just peed a little over the fact that Robin nominated me as a Versatile Blogger. THANK YOU! Smooches!

The rules for accepting this award are:

  • Add the award to your blog.
  • Thank the blogger who gave it to you and include a link to their blog.
  • Mention 7 random things about yourself.
  • List the rules.
  • Give the award to 15 or more bloggers

You should know, I’m notoriously bad at following rules, especially when I think that they don’t make sense or are in some way wrong. So I’m going to pick and choose which rules to follow. Like how some people do with Leviticus, only bloggier!

Seven random things about me:

1. One of my two cats, a big orange tabby cat, thinks I’m his Real Mommy. He tries to nurse on my earlobes. If he ever finds out that there is a part of me from which he’d actually be able to get milk, I’ll be in serious trouble.

2. I’m originally from New Jersey. No, I don’t talk like ‘that’.

3. I prefer dark chocolate.

4. My favorite color is purple. Usually.

5. My favorite pajamas consist of a red, Wonder Woman logo tee shirt and a pair of pants that are blue with white stars. They remind me of the Underoos that I never had as a kid, and they make me ridiculously happy.

These are the ones! They’re GREAT.

6. I always thought that I didn’t like beer, but then I traveled to Germany. There I discovered that I really just don’t like CHEAP beer.

7. I’ve never seen the Godfather movies, and I have no intention of changing that.

8. My favorite Sexy Old Guy is Patrick Stewart. On a trip to London a few years ago, Loving Husband and I went to see Sir Patrick in a production of MacBeth. We were in the sixth row — so close that the actors could have spat upon us. It’s a good thing they didn’t, because if Patrick Stewart had spat upon me, I would never have washed again. That would have been much, MUCH harder on my marriage than the fact that I fantasize about Captain Picard.

Mmm. (Courtesy of Urbantog)

Oh no! That’s eight things! There I go, breaking the rules again.

Now I’m supposed to give this award to 15 or more bloggers. I’m inclined to agree with Fathead Follies that these awards feel a bit spammy. Not spammy in the spiced-ham-that-is-simultaneously-disgusting-and-delicious sense, but spammy in the this-would-be-a-chain-letter-if-only-it-offered-some-dire-consequences-for-breaking-the-chain sense (did you see how many hyphens I just used? EPIC.)

So I’m just going to point my dear handful of readers to a few other blogs that I think you will enjoy. Ones who very much deserve this award, and if they choose, they may accept it and put it on their page and follow the rules and the whole shebang. These are a few of the blogs that I read regularly and that I love to pieces.

Sharing both love and nuts since 2012!

F-Words: Lora combines a sense of humor with some serious cooking skills and writes a completely readable blog that will also make your mouth water. Wear a bib, and try not to laugh too hard while you read — you could end up spraying your screen rather badly.

The Bloggess: I know, I know, she’s probably got every award that there is, and she’s not likely to be all like “Hooray! I’ve been noticed by this fantastic little blog with fifteen followers!” But The Bloggess is who I want to be when I grow up.¬† I also want to be Judi Dench, Batman, and whoever it is that Patrick Stewart is having sex with just now. But in the blog sense, it’s Bloggess, all the way.

Fear No Weebles: Because if you’re not doing at least one spit-take per day, you’re not living.

Tragic Sandwich: Some of it’s funny, some of it’s thought-provoking, all of it’s worth a read.

Speaker7: You guys, Speaker7’s post How To Write The Greatest How-To Post is possibly one of my favorite things that I’ve ever read, ever.

Lollygag Blog: This is the blog that inspired me to become a blogger. Keely is an incredibly charming writer, and she makes the day-to-day doings of her gorgeous family into something that I look forward to reading about. AND, what’s weird in terms of The Kingdom of Blogdonia, she’s someone that I actually know in real life. For real. There’s a picture of us as twenty year olds, singing karaoke in a bar. She’s awesome. She’s also a much better singer than I am.

And I think I’m going to stop there. There are so many awesome and deserving blogs out there, I can’t possibly name all of them (though I’m working on it — see my blogroll if you want more).

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Update, 5/26/12:

The lovely Brigitte of Brigitte’s Banter fame gave me the Versatile Blogger Award!

Here’s the link to her post.

She’s lots of fun to read, and a legitimately talented writer, unlike most of the rest of us hacks.

Thank you so much, Brigitte!